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Treat or Treat

Trick or treat.
Smell my feet.
Give me something good to eat.

My advice for Halloween? Skip the whole dress-up party pub scene - it’s so overdone. Go grab a sack of candy off of the nearest pint-sized little beggar. Get your self all sugared up. And kick back and enjoy the odd collection of tricks and treats that have been lurking at the back of my virtual closet.



Subservient Chicken
http://www.subservientchicken.com

First up on my list – a chicken that does tricks. Or maybe I should say chicken porn. Some genius at a big burger company decided that they need to sell their chicken sandwiches to all of us web-heads in a cool-hip 21st century kinda way. So what did they do? They put a guy in a Victorian style chicken costume and set him up in a cheap white-trash apartment with a video cam for you to boss around. Yea, that is going to sell chicken sandwiches – NOT! But what they did do is give us a slick little program where the chicken does most PG rated actions that you can type on the command line. Scratch butt? Not a problem. Get drunk? Yea, he does that too. Ok, while not quite as good as a white-trash college porn girl that you can boss around in the same fashion, it is a chicken and he does respond to most commands including the ever popular “bite me”. Ah yes – sit back and enjoy your sugar rush with this one.



They Took Everything
http:///www.theytookeverything.com

Billing themselves as “The Gift Registry for the Newly Single” this site celebrates the fact that you have finally dumped the old ball and chain, but perhaps may have lost some of life’s essentials in the process. Skip the home shopping section and go straight to “Self Help Therapy”. Here you will find both a his & her version of dress-ups meant for exacting revenge on your ex. From Normal Bob Smith, the same wonderfully sick mind that brought you Jesus Dress-up, you will enjoy these virtual paper doll little idiots in sick and twisted ways. A trick or a treat? You decide.



Ill Will Press
http://www.illwillpress.com

OH YEA! Cynical bitch humor at its finest. Skip the main page, head straight for the “toon vault”. You haven’t lived until you have heard one of Foamy Squirrel’s rants or have seen Germaine at her apathetic best. Laugh till you puke. You will be dipping into this treat again and again. Favorites of mine here include, Beginner’s Guide To Being A Bitch-Hermit --- Small, Medium, Large --- And Spell-A-Casters. But you defiantly won’t stop until you have played them all. Sit back and enjoy – Goth net humor doesn’t get any better than this bag of treats.


With Halloween 2004 licking at our heels, we need to remember that the true scariest day of the year is right around the corner – Presidential Election Day 2004. In one of the cruelest tricks of the new century, the man that lost the popular vote actually won the election. Please, let’s not make that idiot mistake again! Get your sugared up self out to the polls and do your civic duty. The last two websites I have for you this month provide some very unpolitically correct viewpoints on the sad cruel tricks George W has pulled on us in the last four years.



Fuzzy Math
http://www.thebots.net/FuzzyTest

The Dubya bot here provides us all a little song and dance lesson in Bush economics. While completely enjoyable, this is completely scary at times. Far beyond the reaches of “for entertainment purposes only” this site packs a political wallop that you won’t soon forget. Tools on this site allow you to create rap for your Bush-bot and teach him a few tricks of your own.



Too Stupid to be President
http://www.toostupidtobepresident.com

Too Stupid to be President reminds us of the sentiments of many. The site mission statement says it best: “The aim of this site is to demonstrate that the Republican nominee is not fit for office solely by reason of insufficient intelligence.” Here you are going to find a wealth of idiot statements made by George W. as well as a wealth of animated cartoons expressing the views of his administration. This site too falls into that wonderful but scary category. A definite treat for your mind.


As parting thought to all of you Halloween candy sugar junkies, I give you one of the sayings of my long departed grandfather….

“Candy is dandy.
Liquor is quicker.
But sex won’t rot your teeth.”

I hope you have enjoyed my odd lot of tricks and treats – until next month.

Until next time.
Veritatem dies aperit.
LA. Judge

For Questions, please contact the VC Magazine Staff at VCMagazine_Staff@yahoogroups.com

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